


Punching bag

by Sophiablue90



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Anger, F/M, Hurt, Secret Relationship, Tension, trial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-08-20 11:18:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8246909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sophiablue90/pseuds/Sophiablue90
Summary: This is just a two chapter stand alone story, the OFC is not from any of my other stories. I was watching S18 e2 again and the trial scene where the witness leads the jury to believe that Rollins wanted him to lie was when an idea struck. Based loosely on that scene at the start. I wrote and posted this in under half an hour so sorry for any mistakes





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a two chapter stand alone story, the OFC is not from any of my other stories. I was watching S18 e2 again and the trial scene where the witness leads the jury to believe that Rollins wanted him to lie was when an idea struck. Based loosely on that scene at the start. I wrote and posted this in under half an hour so sorry for any mistakes

“Are you saying Detective O'Neill flirted with you? Guided you to say that you saw the defendant leave at 1.30am instead of 12am?”

Your cheeks grew red with anger. You grinded your teeth and glared at the back of the head of the defense attorney. He was accusing you to coercing the only witness to the brutal rape and murder. You dug your heels into the wooden floor and silently urged Rafael to object, to stop the attorney from planting the lie further with the jury. 

“She smiled at me and touched my arm, I thought she wanted to say 1.30am..” The boy kept talking, much to your dismay. You glimpsed at Carisi who was sitting to your left. He caught your look and shook his head in frustration. He knew that the witness was being played now. He knew you did nothing wrong.

The boy looked at you and smiled weakly, holding up his hands as if to ask you what to do. The attorney stepped in his line of vision.

“I know Detective O'Neill is attractive. But don't look at her, look at me Charlie. Did she prompt you and lead you to say the defendant left at 1.30am that night instead of what you actually saw which was 12am?”

You cursed internally at Rafael. Why wasn't he objecting?? He could stop this, he could end this before this case is ruined.

Charlie hung his head and sighed. “I thought it would make her happy.”

The attorney smiled boldly, first at the jury, then at a defeated Rafael, and then at you. “No further questions your Honour.”

He squeezed his client's arm as he sat back at his table, his face gleaming with delight. The judge called for recess and banged the gavel. 

It was then that Rafael turned and looked over his shoulder at you.

He was furious. He stood up and stormed out of the courtroom, Olivia trailing behind, equally disappointed in the turn of the trial. You grabbed your bag and headed after them with Carisi.

“You know I didn't coerce him right?” You asked Carisi.

“Of course you didn't. Charlie's so impressionable, if the defense had asked him if he saw a flying pig in the sky that night, he'd say yes just to get their approval.”

You saw Rafael and Olivia head into the elevator and press the buttons inside, causing the door to close. He kept his head down, avoiding your eyes.

“Barba's angry” you whispered.

“Well let's go to his office now and explain.”

You trailed after a bouncing Carisi to the next available elevator, biting your lip as you knew what was coming next.

 

“This case was touch and go from the start and you neglect to mention that the witness waffled on the time and took your lead??” Rafael slammed his leather bound pad on the hard wooden desk, creating a loud smack as it hit the surface. He glared at you, his eyebrows furrowed with frustration. You knew what he was thinking.

“Charlie said 1.30am, he saw the defendant leaving the apartment, that it was definitely 1.30 because he had just finished watching the meteor shower which he noted started at 1.20 and ended at 1.29 precisely. When he angled his telescope at the opposite building after, he saw Richards leave the apartment. It was water tight!!”

You looked to Carisi for support.

“Barba, she did nothing wrong. I was there and the boy recanted it exactly as Det. O'Neill just said there.”

You nodded, “He was just shy to talk, he needed some encouragement.”

“Which the defense has now presented to the jury as coercion!” Rafael rubbed his eyes and glanced at Olivia. She was standing beside his desk, equally unsure what to believe.

“But it wasn't!”

“It doesn't matter because the jury now thinks it!” Rafael was roaring at this stage. You were surprised when Carisi came to your defense so passionately.

“Don't take out your frustrations of the case of O'Neill, you let the defense convince the jury that we did something wrong, you did nothing to stop it!”

“Okay guys” Olivia said quietly but authoritatively. 

You looked back at Rafael. He was staring at you, his face red with anger. “ Can you two excuse us for a moment.” His eyes never left you as Olivia and Carisi left the room and closed the door behind them. You swallowed nervously in the tense silence. You had never seen him this mad before. You walked around his desk and looked at him pleadingly.

“Rafael, you know I didn't-”

He held up his hand to your face to stop you. You looked at him in surprise. “You have ruined my case.”

Your jaw dropped, “Excuse me?”

He stood up and closed any distance between you two. You could see the tiny red veins in his eyes, threatening to burst. “If you conducted yourself properly, this case would not be in shatters and your reputation would still be intact.”

You couldn't believe your ears. “Rafael, you know I did nothing wrong.”

“When I send you out to question witnesses and get their versions, you act professional and neutral. Not smile or flirt to get the answer you want quicker to avoid this exact situation!!”

Your lips were curling in rage.

“I have never flirted or acted inappropriately when out in the field” you corrected him sharply.

He raised an eyebrow, “That's not how we got together is it?”

You took a step back, your breath caught in your throat. “If I remember correctly, you were playful with me first. YOU were the one who asked ME out.”

“And if I remember correctly, you were equally eager to return the flirtation.”

It suddenly clicked in your mind. This was nothing about the case.

“You think that I'm flirting with other men when you're not around.”

He sniffed and turned away, idly leafing through files on his desk. “This is nothing to do with me. If you can't be trusted to act professional-”

You stuck your finger into his arm, prompting him to look back at you. “I have NEVER acted improper in this job, and certaintly not in this case.”

“Except when it comes to sleeping with me. Then your work ethics go straight out the window. And I don't think I'm the first ADA you've been involved with, isn't that what you said when I fucked you that first time?”

You slapped him hard. He was taken back, shocked that he didn't see it coming. You felt your eyes sting with tears. His face softened when he saw your tears, realising that he had been too harsh. Rafael was the first relationship you had been in that you had felt safe, protected, loved. Yes it started out purely casual, but quickly developed into a serious relationship. You stayed over at his whenever you could, and him at yours when you weren't working nights. You thought he was different than all the other asshole, chavinistic men that you had dated before. Apparently you had gotten it wrong.

“If you're sleeping with a slutty, flirtatious work colleague, what does it say about you?” you spat out. You paced the room and reached the door to let yourself out, afraid of what else you might say if you saw his face again.

“Maria” he caught your arm as you turned the doorknob, his voice now soft as he realised he had messed up. Badly. “I'm sorry, I'm just so annoyed about this case and I took it out on you, I'm sorry. I know you wouldn't lead the witness.”

He stroked your arm as you glanced at him from the corner of you eye. His left cheek was shiny and red from where you had hit him. He stepped closer as if to kiss you. You pushed him away and opened the door. 

“I;m not going to let you use me as a punching bag whenever you can't do your job properly in court and you need someone to take out your insecurities at.”

You gave him once last look before you slammed the door behind you. “I'll find someone else to fuck. Because that's what I'm good at, thanks for reminding me.”

You shut the door in his face, his mouth partly open as he tried to apologise again.

Your tears split down your face in streams. You loved that man. What a fool you were.


	2. Part two

Chapter 2

 

You sighed as you sank into the bubbly bath water. 

What a day.

You were upset last night when you arrived home after your confrontation with Rafael. You felt hurt at what he had said. Part of you knew it was just him taking out his frustration over the case on you. He was still so harsh. He had never been like that with you.

You met his eyes briefly during court today. You were reluctant to skip the trial, but Olivia reminded you of the optics of the case, what it would look like if the detective accused of tampering with a witness didn't show up the next day. The media would have a field day from that, seeing it as an admission of guilt. You watched anxiously as Rafael asks the judge permission to treat the witness hostile. It worked. The mother broke down and admitted she was sure she heard the defendant in the house when her daughter was raped and murdered. You saw Rafael exhale deeply as he turned to go back to his seat. He looked at you before you lowered your head quickly. You had nothing to be ashamed about, he was at fault here. He had upset you.

It was because of love. You loved him and he didn't know. He betrayed and hurt you and you couldn't face him for fear of breaking down in front of the squad. Pathetic but only human.

You hurried out of the courtroom when the judge called recess for the day. You heard Rafael call your name but you didn't look back. You skipped to the elevators and rushed inside before the doors closed. In the closing gap, you could see him talking with Olivia and the defense attorney. Working out a plea, you mulled. Rafael had won.

He always did.

Later on a search of a suspect's apartment for a different case, you tripped on the building stairs and whacked your knee against the concrete step.

“Fuck!” you groaned as you rubbed it softly, trying to ease the pain.

“Hey” you heard Carisi's voice behind you. “You alright? You need a bus?”

You shook your head. “No I'm fine.” You stood up and tested your knee by taking a tiny step. You howled in pain and crouched down to the ground to take the pressure off your knee.

 

Now you could see that your knee was swollen and a nasty green purplish colour. The bath water helped the pain, though the pain medication mainly took care of it. Carisi had linked you to the squad car after and brought you to hospital. A bad bash but luckily not broken. He dropped you home after Olivia gave you the rest of the day off. 

You closed your eyes and let yourself sink into the bubbly water. Then there was a knock on the door.

“Fuck” you groaned and hit your hands against the surface of the water. You were not in the mood for company. You pretended that you didn't hear the knock, until the visitor rapped again. You clenched your teeth as you hauled yourself carefully out of the bath. You threw your bath robe on and limped slowly into your living room, shivering as the cold air hit your wet skin. You glanced out the window as you passed it, the rain beating heavily against the glass.

You checked the chain was still on the door before you opened it slowly and peeked out.

“Hi.”

Your legs almost buckled when you heard that voice. You just stared back into those green eyes that were studying you in the tiny gap that the chain would allow the door to open. You could see he was soaked – his camel coloured coat was a shade deeper than normal and his gelled hair was flattened against his forehead.

“Hey” you whispered back breathlessly. You were still so angry at him, but the tired lines around his eyes and his creased forehead made you forget for a moment all the insults he had thrown your way.

“I heard you won in court. Congratulations.”

He smiled softly and leaned against the door frame. “Can I come in?”

You sighed, “I'm going to bed.”

Rafael stepped closer towards you, until you could almost feel his breath on your face as he asked, “Please?”

You bit your lip and clutched the edges of your bathrobe as you nodded reluctantly. You shut the door and paused, before releasing the chain lock and reopening the door again to let Rafael in. He walked in slowly, taking in the surroundings as if he had never seen it before. Of course he has, you thought to yourself as you stayed still behind him. He has been here so many nights, some nights for mischief and sex, other nights for comfort and company. He turned around when you slammed the door over and remained in your spot, securing your robe in your nervous hands. He presented the bouquet of flowers that he was twirling mindlessly in his grip.

“For you” he said gently as he handed over the scarlet red roses, the rain drops like jewels on the velvet petals. 

“Thank you.” You left them in the sink as you mulled it over – a vase or in the bin? Depends on how this conversation goes, you guessed.

“Can we talk?” he asked gently. He kept his eye contact with you, though you knew from his fidgety hands that he was aching to touch you, to hold you.

“I'll get dressed first.”

You crossed the room, catching a waft of his cologne as you passed him, making your heart skip with memories of that smell when he would hold you at night. You tried your best to keep your balance as you limped into your bedroom and threw on your pyjamas. You towelled your hair to let it dry quicker before leaving your room and seeing Rafael making himself comfortable on your couch, his jacket and tie thrown over the arm of the seat. You hopped past him quickly to fetch some water in the kitchen, asking him if he wanted something too.

“I only want you on this seat beside me” he smirked up at you. You rolled your eyes and reached for a glass in the cupboards. You stumbled and landed awkwardly on the foot connected to your bruised knee. You winced and before you knew it, you felt a hand on your lower back and another hand gripping your arm to keep you steady.

“Let me” he said softly as he took a glass from the high shelves and poured it halfway with water from the fridge. He moved your hand onto his shoulder as he held the glass. “Lean on me.”

You stayed still. “I'm fine.” You were stubborn. You had to prove you could do this without him. That you didn't need him.

He sighed and let you go. He handed you back the cold drink and walked back to the sofa, not looking back as you limped behind him. The water sloshed out around the rim of the glass as you made it to the couch. You placed it on the table in front of you before gently easing yourself on the soft cushions. You rested your leg on the coffee table and sat back. You glanced towards Rafael, who was eyeing you intensely. 

“There's no shame in taking help sometimes.”

You took a gulp of the ice cold water. “Just like there's no shame in accusing me of flirting with any man that dares to look at me.”

He cleared his throat and tentatively placed his hand on yours, moving his fingers between yours. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. You know that don't you?”

His eyes were wide as he waited for your answer. You shrugged and took another drink. “Doesn't mean it still didn't hurt..”

He stroked your cheek softly. “I'm sorry. Forgive me. Por favor?”

You pursed your lips and picked at the fabric of your pyjama bottoms. “Sure, we're over now anyway so let's just move on and forget.”

He squeezed your hand tight and raised your chin so your eyes met his. “I don't want this to be over.”

Your heart beat fast but you tried to ignore it. “DAs and detectives can't fuck and work together. Its against the code of behaviour.”

“Who said anything about fucking?”

His question led you to think he saw you as something more. Did he care for you?

You stuttered, “Whatever you want to call it, it's still a conflict of interest. One of us would have to move district.”

Without hestitation, he replied. “I'd do it.”

You scoffed. “You love Manhattan. You're not going to leave.” You whispered, “You love working with Liv, you wouldn't leave.”

He looked pensive. His slight nod confirmed it to you. 

“You could work in a different unit in Manhattan, you said yourself you find the cases at SVU haunting at times.”

“Why?”

Rafael was confused. “Why what?”

You spoke slowly. “Why should it be me that should move for this relationship, if this is what that is. You hurt ME. You humilated ME. You accused ME of tampering with witnesses because of your own insecurities. Why should it be ME?”

You looked at him hard. His confident expression faltered as your words sunk in.

“You're right.” He stroked your cheek as tears began to fall from your eyes. “It shouldn't be you.” He shuffled closer and placed a gentle hand on yours. “I'm sure if we disclosed our relationship to the DA, he would put controls in place so we could still work together..”

Your chest started to flutter rapidly as you tried to hold back the outburst of emotions that were threatening to explode from inside you. “Go home Rafael.”

“Please carino-”

“GO. HOME” you cut him off and turned away from him as best you could. You heard him sigh and stand up while gathering his belongings.

His leather shoes tapped against the wooden floor as he made his way to the front door. The door knob creaked as he turned it. You paused when you didn't hear the door close behind him and twisted around to find him still, head down, gripping tightly onto the handle.

“I love you.”

“Good for you” you spat out and faced away from him. You were too confused and hurt to listen. You started to choke on your tears when he slammed the door behind him. You headed slowly to the bathroom to dry your eyes when the door flew open behind you.

“I am not spending another second having you upset bescause of my stupidity. I love you.”

You spun round at the sound of his voice. “Raf I told you-”

He grabbed your face and kissed you hard. You were so full of mixed emotions that you felt yourself responding. You missed him. His taste, his smell, his soft hands that were creeping under your pyjama top and caressing their way over your back. You gripped him tighter as you started to fall back, your injured knee too weak to support your weight. He caught you, like always, and helped to gently lower you against the arm of the couch to rest. The kiss broke and you stared up at him, his eyes panicked and worried, his lips open as he struggled to catch a breath. 

“Lo siento, carino, lo siento. I am so sorry” he repeated over and over again to the point you thought he would collapse. 

You held his face and whispered, “I know..”

“It was just in the heat of the argument and the case was crumbling in front of me and I was cowardly and I was just looking for someone to blame and I picked the person I care for the most in the world and for that, I am so sorry.”

“Apology accepted Rafael, now please will you help me onto the seat of the couch?”

He nodded eagerly, holding you securely as you stood up slowly and shuffled until the soft flat cushions were behind you. You fell down against them with a loud sigh and gestured for Rafael to join you.

“I've missed that sound” he smirked lightly.

“What, me falling back against the sofa or calling for your desperate help?”

He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you to his chest. “Your sighs, I loved to stay up just until you were asleep so I could hear them.”

“Well, if you're lucky you might fall asleep after me tonight then.”

He kissed you softly and squeezed your hand, relieved to be let back into your secure fort again. You leaned back from his lips, just a little to whisper “I love you too Rafael Barba.”

His smile almost melted your heart again.

“But you can be such a hurtful asshole sometimes.”

“Duly noted.”

“And we need to disclose this to Liv. Whatever happens, happens..”

“Agreed” he nodded as he stroked up and down your arm slowly, savouring the feel of the goosebumps he left on your skin. You pulled him again for a kiss, this time a deeper and passionate one. You helped him out of his jacket and undid the tie around his neck, loosening a few buttons as you asked him, “Will you help me to my bed?”

He pecked the back of your hand and kissed you again. “Of course.”

 

For hours you both lay between the sheets, kissing, talking and cuddling. You medication was making you feel tired and Rafael wanted to wait before he made love to you. You fell asleep against his chest, the warmth of his skin making it impossible to fight off your heavy eyes and dreams. You felt a kiss to your forehead and a sigh tickle across your skin. 

This was perfect. This was love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, so sorry for being absent for so long. I didn't realise that I haven't updated any of my stories since Dec!
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and the requests for chapter 2, ive finally found the time to finish it and I hope you all like it. The comments really make my days (and ive had a lot of shitty days the past few months that have stopped me from writing as much as id like to) so thank you all so much again.
> 
> I hope to upload more stories soon for my Rafael/OFC series and finish the new Nevada story I had started ages ago.


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